This is not actually a first blog post: that's going to come shortly. This is a mission statement, chosen from the category of official blogger mission statements, and here it goes:
I [Insert Name Here] do sincerely swear by [Insert Diety of Choice Here]'s name to uphold a [high moral standings/urge for human sacrifice/quest to destroy the world/desire for humor (choose whichever is appropriate)]. The goal of this blog will be to [insert goal here], and I will strive with all my [willpower/might/heart/spleen (choose whichever is appropriate)] to achieve this goal by [insert primary course of action here]. I do hope you enjoy this blog, and I will [ignore/enjoy/laugh at/love/cry over (choose whichever is appropriate)] your feedback.
[Enjoy/Peace Out/Now Scram/Please Give me Attention/I Hate Everything (choose whichever is appropriate)]***
*not to mention a fun word. Blog. It sounds like something disgusting you'd find in a swamp. Since this is a bunch of words on the internet, it's an appropriate description.
**Infrequently and painfully.
***Randomly Interjected: Spoofing Terry Pratchette since 2010
Hidden Band Names:
Love/Cry Over: Emo band. Very emo.
Now Scram: Country metal band. Yes, it now exists.
Please Give Me Attention/I Hate Everything: An ironic emo band.
I Love Money: Republican Rap